Preparing for Motherhood: A Few Thoughts

My looming due date is like a cloud hovering over me, weighing on my shoulders. Don’t get me wrong- I am completely and utterly excited for this baby to join us in the world. I know I will love him more than anything. I’m positive of this, because I’m already so in love with him, even in his fetal, unborn state. But, like most first-time parents to be, I am so scared. So nervous, so anxious, so unprepared. But, oh so ready. I’m just ready for my boy to be here so I can hold his warm body and love him and cuddle him close to me.

My official countdown (per my baby app!) is 52 days. FIFTY-TWO DAYS! That thought is absolutely terrifying. I mean, in the best I-can’t-wait sort of way. Also, I have a feeling this baby will decide to join us a little early, say, 36 or 37 weeks. I could be completely wrong, which, to a point, I’m hoping I am. But, that thought has been in my head very early on in my pregnancy. Because of this inkling and my overthinking and over-preparing tendencies, I hope to have everything ready to do within the next few weeks. Just in case.

Other than that, I’m just ready for all of this to be over and done with. Preparing your home and your mind for a new baby is physically and mentally exhausting, and the past few months have been ridiculously busy with non-baby related things. I’m very much ready to just stop and enjoy everything with my family.

It’s very hard to put everything in words. How do you explain that you want this huge thing (i.e. labor and delivery) to happen, but, you’re not quite ready and you’re super nervous for when it does happen? But at the same time, you’re ready to go! You have the room set up, the clothes, the bottles, the amenities, etc. etc. etc! All of your love is just waiting for this baby. Even your fur babies are ready for their new little brother!

I’m being completely repetitive, but in reality, I don’t know what my thoughts are on my pending motherhood. Excited. Scared. Eager. Terrified. Ready. Unprepared. I could go on and on, but I know that all new parents feel this way. My growing belly, lack of regular sleep, and rib jabs are constant reminders that soon, very soon, this baby will be making his way out into the world. No matter how nerve-wracking this entire experience has been, this boy will be entering a world full of love and affection from not only his parents, but many, many more people. At the end of the day, that’s all I really care about.

-Halle

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